i've dug myself
into a rut
by digging through solutions
i've ruined enough
instead of finding answers elsewhere
i buried my questions
watched them pile up
the rut turned to chasm
the questions turned to doubt
the roots
they're established
i see their products developing now
the fruits
they have withered
parasites have begun to swarm
i let the doubts linger
for far too long
second thoughts are becoming my own
i beg for fluorescence
for an evident sign
i beg for transparency
that my problems be brought to light
where is the passion that i once felt?
where is the drive
the urge
that kept me interested?
the thought of pushing through exhausts me
why can't i overcome
this hesitation inside of me?
i beg for fluorescence
for an evident sign
i beg for transparency
that my problems be brought to light
to destroy what was once peace of mind
easy solutions
they defeat me
instead of working towards remedies
i dwell in my malady
acting like this makes me
sick
but i thrive off of sympathy
i seek it persistently
i don't want to hide my vices
i don't want to lose the rush
i don't want to play the victim
just so i can feel just
i am begging for fluorescence
i am digging towards the light
i am begging for fluorescence
so the fruits of my labor
will flourish through
turbulent times
Julien Baker is an acquired taste - assuming of course you’ve acquired great taste in singer songwriters… beautiful, devastating, honest, insightful… I’ve not heard a single song of hers that hasn’t left me in absolute awe. crisbroadhurst
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